I and You The Self Talk in Matrix

Have you ever noticed that the words you speak to yourself land differently depending on how you phrase them?

Sometimes I am safe feels flat, almost unbelievable. Yet You are safe can drop into the body with a surprising sense of relief.

In Matrix Reimprinting we meet parts of ourselves that are frozen in time, the Echos. They are not here in our adult present, and yet they are here, silently shaping our patterns, our reactions, even our health. These parts are waiting to be met, and when we step into the memory we are not repeating affirmations, we are releasing trauma that has been locked in the body for years.

This is why language matters.

When the adult self says I am safe in the here and now it is an anchor. It reminds the nervous system of present reality. That is vital because safety must be located in the body here and now. Yet when we turn to the Echo, those words do not always reach. For a part still frozen in the trauma moment, I am safe may feel untrue. The Echo cannot yet step into that “I.”

What often lands more deeply is You are safe now. Spoken from the adult self, it carries the tone of a caregiver, echoing those early words we longed to hear. Neuroscience confirms what we see in practice. Ethan Kross and colleagues at the University of Michigan showed that using “you” or one’s own name in self-talk created what they called distanced self-talk. Instead of activating self-immersion and rumination, it gave the brain perspective and lowered activity in stress-related regions. Moser and Kross found that this kind of language helps people regulate emotions more quickly and with less effort. Orvell and colleagues showed that second-person speech supports reframing, which is exactly what happens in Matrix when the Echo receives a new meaning and a new felt experience. Even more recent work by Magata in 2024 found that saying you rather than I improves motivation and performance. We see this in Matrix when an Echo, once reassured, can step into a new picture of the future.

From a nervous system perspective this makes sense. Safety is something we first learned through another’s voice, a caregiver soothing us with You are safe now. That imprint lives on. When the adult self speaks those same words to the Echo, the body recognises it.

This is the unique power of Matrix. We hold two realities together. The adult self in the here and now needs the grounding reminder: I am safe in the here and now. The Echo still frozen in the trauma needs the reassurance: You are safe now. I am here with you. One anchors the nervous system, the other heals the part that is still trapped. When both are spoken, the present safety of the adult and the time-locked fear of the Echo can finally meet.

Matrix is not about denying trauma or covering it with positive words. It is about honouring the frozen moment fully, what was felt, what was feared, what was missing. By entering that space, we make contact with the part of us that is still carrying it. Language becomes part of the bridge. I am safe in the here and now roots the adult in present safety. You are safe now reaches the Echo who is still waiting to be seen. When both are held, perception shifts. The trauma is no longer running unconsciously in the background. It is released, transformed, and integrated.

This kind of work is tender, powerful, and not always easy. Which is why it is so important to work with a trauma-informed practitioner who can hold the process with safety, awareness, and care. When we step into these frozen moments, we are entering sacred ground.

I would love to hear how this lands with you. Have you noticed the difference between saying I and saying you when you are in a difficult moment, or when you are with an Echo in your own inner work?